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Not good at this forum stuff…

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Athene Noctua View Drop Down
Sensi Seedling
Sensi Seedling
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Joined: 22 February 2014
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Posts: 3
  Quote Athene Noctua Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Not good at this forum stuff…
    Posted: 29 May 2014 at 16:09
…I've a nasty tendency to get banned. I also find them extremely overwhelming; to a severely autistic person like me, they're the online equivalent of being in a crowded room. I'm also accessing the forum from my iPod and iOS Safari has a nasty tendency to crash on here.

I was PMing with Sarah Louise, but I must have said/done something to upset her, because she's not said a word me for nearly a fortnight. I HONESTLY have no concept of what's offensive and what isn't. Did I break a rule…? I've no idea there, either… yes I read them, and yes, I agreed to abide by them, but does that mean I won't break them…? No, because I've no concept of what a 'rule' is. For reasons I don't want to go into on an open forum, I stopped developing emotionally at the age of 3.

Right now, I'm absolutely at the end of my rope; I'm absolutely stuck, and I see sensi as my only way out; there's just one MASSIVE problem: - I've read grow guide, after grow guide, after grow guide, and they may as well be written in Ferengi for all the sense they make to me…

Posting here - or to any forum - is extremely stressful; trying to do social things is enough to induce a mild-to-moderate panic attack (severe if it's somewhere really crowded). But I've no choice; I need to learn how to grow, or my life is finished. You'll probably think that hyperbolic but, trust me, it isn't. If I was to tell you my history you'd probably not believe it.

The thing is, I need guidance, I need a mentor; I have limited means because I'm unable to work (at the moment, I'm unable to do much of anything, as I've spent the past 3+ years stuck in bed).

I know what I'm asking is a big deal but what choice do I have…? I'm too fucked up to understand it on my own. I REALLY don't understand people, how they function, how social interaction works at all, but I want out of this bed, and I want to be able to do the things that most of you probably take for granted: - socialising, shopping, being able to cope with quacks, that kinda thing… I'm too fucked up to even ask for help; unless I can become 'less autistic', for lack of a better phrase, I can only see one way out of here - and I rather LIKE being alive, I just DON'T like not being able to have a LIFE…

That's all I'm able to say at the mo, I'm shaking too much to type any more… beginning to believe that maybe I AM too dysfunctional to live…

I REALLY WISH I didn't have to ask… I'm sorry… ????

You're welcome to PM if you'd like…

Thank you,

X??X??X??X S X??X??X??X
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WeedLover80 View Drop Down
Sensi Seedling
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Joined: 16 July 2014
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Posts: 2
  Quote WeedLover80 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 July 2014 at 10:04
I'm new to the forums, but I wanted to say welcome. I've been working with teenagers with autism/aspergers for the past 10 years. i know how challenging it can be. but the beauty of forums is that you can socialize with people without seeing them face to face, and you have plenty of time to really think about what you want to say(write). just enjoy the forums and don't take it too seriously. again, welcome!
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